Today was ok. Really wanted to drink when I went out with my friend but I didn't! We did karaoke and it was fun af. I did Shania Twain's '(Man) I Feel Like a Woman' and then we did Teenage Dirtbag as a group. I genuinely had fun. Now me and my friends are watching Community.
If I still drank, I would be looking for wine right now and would probably keep drinking until I fell asleep. Or like, doing dumb shit on my phone. It's so comforting to not have to wake up and be afraid of what I might have done. Being more in control helps with managing shame. I'm really relieved that things are going so smoothly the last thirteen days. I feel so much safer and calmer.
I had some car trouble today that will be potentially expensive but I feel like it was easier to problem solve and deal with. Little things haven't been bothering me as much. I think meditation helps with that too, in addition to not drinking. I also had a big self care day before the car stuff. Which helped.
The last thing I'll say - not drinking makes me smell alcohol on other people way more. I can smell three beers on someone but I never thought I had a smell when I was drinking. Though I probably did.
Anyway. Almost to two weeks! Let's get this money.