Soooo. Some of my depression the last few days may have stemmed from not working at all since... Dec 22? I think? I worked a teeny bit frome home over the break but not a ton. I NEED STRUCTURE! Didn't really have the gusto to work out or grocery shop today but I felt really good almost all day. And I had a productive day at work, which was great! The only downside... my dog is hyper as fuck since he was home by himself for about seven hours. He keeps trying to lick my nostrils.
I've been kind of thinking about sobriety in a way that upsets me. I'm afraid that others will feel like they have to wear kid gloves around me. Like alcohol is for the adults and I'm the one who can't handle it so I have to abstain to protect myself. Like reverting to childhood feelings of being belittled or condescended. I know that's kind of silly. And I've only received love and support - so I really have no reason to assume this will happen (and not to mention... who cares what other people think!). Sometimes I just wish my brain/personality wasn't addictive. But. Not falilng into despair. Just accepting that this is what I have to do right now and (again) making the conscious choice to just not drink for one more day. Day by day makes it way more manageable.