Anxious today. Some days ya just feel SUPER nit-picked to death, ya know? Focused on giving a full effort at work tomorrow so I hopefully don't have to work while I'm on vacation. I can doooo itttttttt. My anxiety manifested itself in eating kinda shitty. And bath time, of course. I have been having really intense nightmares about relapsing, which SUCKS. In my dream last night, I hooked up with a bunch of people while "blacked out" and then had to piece together what happened from my texts and phone activity. It was terrible, and also something I've actually experienced IRL (unfortunately).
FOCUSING ON THE GOOD. And trying to give my anxious subconscious a figurative chill pill. Leaving this frigid Iowa nonsense tomorrow morning. CANNOT WAIIIIIIIT. The cool thing about sobriety is I often feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. My excitement and anticipation for stuff feels a lot more genuine. It's familiar in a nice way. Maybe that's weird to say. Ok baaaai.