50 feels like a big milestone! Day 50 was multifaceted. Part 1: Lovely brunch date with lots of great conversation. Part 2: Meandering lil shops in an old part of town, spending a little money on film and antique jewelry while watching for my phone to be fixed. Part 3: Storming out of a Verizon store because the sales guy was just a complete dildo. Part 4: A ton of ice cream, a long bath, and binge watching The People Vs OJ Simpson on Netflix.
Also, I had a friend message me on Instagram being like.... holy shit I can't believe you're dealing with this personal thing in such a public way. In a way that was like - props to you but like damn I would never do that. But for me, I've found that it's pretty easy to be open about everything. And honestly, yeah... it's fkkin scary. The more I think about it, the more scary it is. The last few days I haven't wanted to share too much because I definitely don't want every single detail of my dating life and my family life and my internal life to be totally out there. Not that like, thaaaat many people are reading this stuff. But at least hundreds. It's humbling and weird.
Anyway! I'm feeling very grateful every day. The amount of times I've just stopped and internally squealed and been like "eeeeeep holy shit I'm HAPPY right now" in the past 50 days. It's been like... more than I can really count. I'm feeling HAPPY and EXCITED and MOTIVATED. Which is just such a huge change from the prior 12 months. I was in a really really intense depression and shame spiral.
Next week I'm gonna interview my friend who is doing a month-long sobriety project and get some feedback on her relationship with alcohol and her observations in cutting it out temporarily. Excited for that. Ok, bai!