Celebrating 10 months of sobriety.
Here are some things I've realized.
1) It was always a gamble when I was drinking. It could be one drink or fifteen. I didn't know before I started drinking which it would be. And I couldn't stop once I started.
2) I don't want to fuck with anything that alters my mind, including weed. I've been weed free since July and I don't anticipate going back to that. It's not a huge moral thing / decision. It's just... I'd rather not.
3) I can feel myself re-learning how to cope. I can talk about hard things. I can feel absolutely okay with different outcomes. I can think ahead to the worst case scenario and realize that even if the "worst" thing happens – I'll still be able to handle it.
4) I LOVE SOBER WOMEN. I've made so many amazing friends in sobriety. I wouldn't trade that feeling of being understood and the feeling of solidarity for anything. It's like finding hidden gems – other humans who also operate on a high frequency. I've met so many humans, all of whom are so vulnerable and honest and raw. It's my favorite thing.
5) I am taking it one day at a time but let's be real. I'm going to keep not drinking after one year. It's my vibe. I am in love with stuff again. I am okay with my past and I am looking forward to the future.