I think a lot of my recent anxiety stemmed from me finally processing things SOBER. Breaking the cycle of alcohol abuse has allowed me to feel things again. With frequent alcohol abuse, my feelings were extra intense at times and totally masked at others. Now it's like, all me all the time. Like, actually me. My therapist reminded me that no matter how bad things feel right now... I'm actually healing. I am healing, for real. I'm putting down roots and setting myself up for success. I am grieving and processing and healing and feeling it all.
So, I'm giving myself a break for how sad and anxious I've been the last few days. I was doing my best. And I made relatively healthy choices (I mean, pizza and chocolate and sleeping for 12 hours. Could be worse). And most important of all - I didn't fall into any old bad habits.
Here's to the next 25 days of sobriety. I'm committed to digging in, focusing on healing and accepting the reality of right now. I feel so grateful. That is saying a lot, considering how yesterday I was in full blown fuck this shit mode. It's a balance.