I haven't given up on daily blogging but it has been less of a priority lately. In early sobriety, it really helped me with accountability and just because I had sooooo mannnnyyy feeeeelings to process. I'm starting to feel a little more balanced and present and have had a little bit less to write about. I do like the discipline and daily practice, so I'm trying to repriotize a bit.
Overall feeling pretty good. Went to a show tonight and really enjoyed myself. It was my dog's first house show. He behaved himself masterfully. Lol. Honestly it was very cute.
I don't remember if I've shared this but I also stopped smoking weed in July and I feel like it's made a big impact on my ability to be present and focused. I'm really grateful for the gifts being sober has given me and I'm just trying to honor that and really be all in.
I also feel like not drinking provides so much extra time to do stuff. Like, simply the days feel longer. I wanna play more music, make fun collages, continue cooking and baking. Just stay present and enjoy and stay calm/not worried where I'm at compared to others.
Ok I'm really sleepy byeee.
Learning how to process and heal. I've been dealing with self image / self esteem issues lately. I'm at my heaviest and relearning how I talk to myself, my relationship with food and my relationship with my body. Not drinking alcohol is a huge thing in self love but it hasn't brought upon weight loss for me, which a lot of folks say happens in their experiences with cutting out alcohol.
I am not going to "require" myself to lose weight. I'm simply going to make healthy lifestyle choices a priority. And I'm going to try to listen to my body and feed it the nourishing food it wants. I don't believe in a lot of diet industry things. Or food industry things.
I found out about the passing of my former boss today. Really bummed. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in January and now gone. I went for a walk today and tried to just really really notice the sun and the crunch of leaves and my dog's smile. It could all be over in a moment. I know that sounds cheesy and sentimental but my heart is aching a bit and I think he'd want me to enjoy little moments and find the beauty. Memorial will be in November. It will be good to hug friends and tell stories.
List of priorities for the week
Make an apple crisp
Make a soup
Tell people I love that I love them
So inspired by Laurie's blog - A Girl and Tonic. She does great work to bring connection and love to the sober realm of the internet. And beyond! She also does amazing "alternative Saturday night" events where folks can enjoy tea, cake, yoga, etc. It's really inspiring and I'd love to organize something like that in Iowa.
Anyway! Laurie was kind enough to feature me as a Not Drinking Diary on her blog. I chatted about my journey with sobriety, my routines and what works for me. As always, I overshared and spilled my guts. But that's me. Still pretty raw and just navigating it all. Please go follow Laurie and check out my Not Drinking Diary on her blog!
Real talk. Last week, I moved from an apartment into a house and produced a mini music festival. I can't imagine attempting that while drinking. A reminder for the next time I think maybe I could start up again. I can accomplish a lot more with a clear mind. 🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅
Here are some photos from the days I missed posting. I'm also recommitting to AA and going to more meetings. I want to keep moving forward.